Feeling a little melancholy tonight

Every now and then stuff just piles too high I guess. It's kinda high tonight so I'm feeling a bit not happy. I'm hoping that writing about it will brighten the mood. The music feature being played on the radio as I drove home tonight didn't help. Actually it pretty much trashed any good mood that was trying to peek out. It was all 1969 music. That was probably the worst year of my life and so many bad memories crept into the music. As I write this I am trying to bring happier memories around me. I'm sure eventually, my mood will improve. Just posting this photo of me and my Mom helps. We all have some crappy stuff in our lives to deal with so I will do the same. I will deal with it...again. I must remember that I am so fortunate that my life took a wonderful turn and I have been blessed with a great husband, incredible children and the freedom to be me.
Dwelling on the past only destroys my present and future.
I'll try to remember this.

She sold.

I'll miss her.

These are three new girls that I have just started working on. I plan to record their progress here. It helps me to see them in a different place. No need to comment, but I'm always open to critiques. They are all 12"x12". The ballerinas are from my head, the girl in the scarf is actually from a photo of my daughter who was fooling around wearing a pink towel on her head. Not sure what's next since one of these is on a new surface for me. Very smooth and not very forgiving.

We'll see where these girls go.

I was making cranberry sauce tonight and turned around to the sink when I saw these two bowls I had on the counter. Clementines and ripening green tomatoes.
November in Chicago.

Just home from my recent opening. Actually, from the opening and a late dinner with friends. But anyway, I knew you would all be on pins and needles waiting to hear how it went (ha-ha-ha!!!) No sales tonight, but some really nice feedback from some locally well respected artists. This is the kind of stuff I need to keep me going. After seeing the incredible stuff at the Art Institute the other day
I was feeling pretty bummed, actually to tell the truth I was feeling pretty crappy about my work. One of the artists at the Art League has his films in the Art Institute. I saw them on Monday. I'm not sure why they are there, I guess I have a hard time with video/film stuff. Anyway he was there tonight and said he thought my work was "very nice". Maybe he was just patronizing me, but I'd like to think he liked it. He was saying that he was not pleased with a couple of his films at the A I so he was almost as insecure as me I guess. Sometimes being an artist is pretty tough. What we put out there is so personal and intimate and it's hard to distance ourselves from it and see it as a comodidty instead of as an extension of ourselves. Let me re-phrase that. It's not that it is always a personal or intimate reveal, but the actual work comes from a personal struggle. It is a struggle to make what is in the head or heart or soul, or where ever it comes from, appear out "there" in some form. It is usually the struggle that is so personal or intimate. Some artists do put their intimate selves out there but the struggle is still the hardest part. Of course there are those "interesting" artists who make their art using themselves as the medium. Some like to paint with their spit as the medium with acrylic paint or maybe use their semen on a particular surface that turns it a different color. Ah, such talent. Years to perfect it! But I must not condemn such creativity or I will be condemning all of us. Oh, what the hell...that kind of crap is just that, crap! And I'm sure there are "paintings" out there done in just that, with perhaps a bit of oil paint mixed in.

But I digress, my intention tonight was simply to say thet my little opening was ...well...little, but nice. I will keep working.

Book club and Dorothy

"They sicken of the calm, who know the storm” this from Dorothy Parker.
I have been trying to get my bookclub to read D. Parker for some time now and finally this month was hers. She was, undoubtedly, a very sad woman, but her wit and her mind...oh my God! If I could have one percent of the amazing
wit-ability that she had I would be exstatic and ...very witty! This is one of those (many for me) times that I wish I could time travel. I would love to just be in a room with Dorothy Parker. To listen and watch and ask.
She was quite something for her time.
Here's another:
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
And just one more:
"Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship."
Just google her and her quotes. Yup, it's worth it.

This is from a couple of years ago. It's the Milwaukee Museum of Art. I was there again yesterday and didn't have my camera, but watched from the inside this time.The shadow play was magical. I have several pix on my phone, but of course I don't know how to get them out.

I'd like to spend more time in this space.

My Jim piece

This is a part of a piece I did about my brother for a show titled "Remembrance" a few years ago. It has been packed in a brown paper shopping bag since the show came down. The piece exposes times when we shared our hopes, our ordinary lives our and despairs during the brief time we lived together in the sixties. We were in our early 20's and both trying to figure out who we were and where we were going. He got it and I am still trying to figure it out. He died 19 years ago. I still miss him, but I cherish our time together.

I'm glad I pulled it out of the brown shopping bag that it was stored in and put it up in my studio.

Sometimes it's just nice to have favorite things near. This feeds my memories.

Sold and sad

VIEW FROM THE DOCK

Floating
through time
as a dream
blue air,
yellow breeze
caress
the soul
within me

Here we are as the arts fest begins...











We decided to see how our work would be received by being in an art fair. Holy crap! What a lot of work!


















This is the first and last art fair I will ever be in. The packing, catalogueing, pricing, loading, un-loading, packing, un-packing, getting up at 5:30 AM, toting & hauling, loading, un-loading, hauling again, hanging again, loading again, un-loading again, ....exhausting! How do these artist do this for a living??? I have a whole new, and HUGE, respect for them!













I should tell you that my work is the smaller pieces (the encaustics) and my friend's pieces are the larger ones(cold wax paintings). We both had some nice sales and we met some lovely artists, so it wasn't a total bummer, but our bodies are suffering from all the physical labor!

So next time at an art fair, buy at least one thing and always compliment the artists. NEVER say "My three year old could do that" !

Good-bye beautiful lady

My dearest Aunt Dode died tonight.
God speed to a beautiful lady and inspiring spirit.
I am blessed to have had her in my life.

Must read..all of you!

Tonight was my book club (a wonderful thing and I highly recommend this for you all!). The book we read this month was , "Half the Sky" by Kristof & WuDunn. This is an excruciating book because it tells, graphically, the stories of so many young women who have been victimized by their culture. But is also tells of the survival of so many of these women. I was not able to go any farther than page 87. It was just too painful and disturbing, but my book club women helped me to see the positive from this book.
So, read it and do what you can to change someone's life.

Recently remembered...

I was reminded of this little poem/prayer that my brother Jim wrote several years ago. I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing it with you...

"Oh God
please hear me
as I rise and pray
protect me from the men
who wear suitcoats all day"
Jim Parker

Question...

Do cicadas ever sleep?

Sold and sad

"Into My Mystic" was in the Milwaukee Avenue Arts Fest show WAX this weekend. I couldn't get to the show, but got a call that someone wanted to purchase it. At first I was thrilled, but then I got a little sad because this is a piece that I am so fond of. So off it went. It was bought by a couple that really loves it so I don't feel as bad, but I will miss it.

And then the girls went off to their new home overlooking Lake Michigan. I know they have a lovely home and their new owner loves them, but I will miss them too.

It's not easy letting go. At least when you let go of your flesh and blood children you know that you will see them again.

Something to think about, a lot

There are several reality shows on these days, and I watch several of them, but when I saw the one called "The Next Great Artist" I was pretty dumb founded. What and how can they do this? And who would want to be in this rediculous show!Of course I watched it. To my surprise, I liked it. So I watched it again, and again, and again. Maybe it's because I didn't go to art school, but I'n finding it very interesting and educational. Tonight the challenge was to create something that represented how and why they became artists.

So now I'm thinking.

For Aunt Dode

Aunt Dode is 98. Tonight she is not doing well. She is my favorite aunt and my role model. She has always marched to her own drum, but very quietly and with respect for other's drums. Her smile is infectious and her heart is always open. She is an artist to her soul. She is a beautiful woman, even at 98. She is my mother's sister and my second Mom.
I am sending my love through this painting of her as my Mom's Maid of Honor.

missing

I haven't been here for a while. Maybe I'll get back here soon!

I hope so.

Till then...

Some new work

So glad to have more than one or two days at a time in my studio. I've been able to accomplish some stuff.

Aaaarrrrgh!!!

How do I get photos off of Picassa other than via email?!!!!

Very late...poetic musings

Musings are due to wine and warm spring hopes.
Make no judgements of the words, just try to feel the breeze.

Tuesday:
vision never sees reality
reality never hears the dream


Monday :
life travels through to death
to open to the light of life

3/16/10 :
days of light
nights of illumination
sisters always

Nothing much

These are the new girls.
They're OK, but not my favorites.
Pretty stiff.
I really need to work harder and I need to get back to doing less structured folks.
I need to get into the studio more often.
I need to stop procratinating!

These girls are now hanging in a show with some very edgy art. I use that term loosely. Hate to be a snob, but to me a black bra that has been coated in a stiffening solution and then embellished with 2 eyeballs for nipples does not qualify as art. I know, and believe, that we all have the right to present our artistic views, but let's try to be a little more adult. This artist is well over 50 and should have a more mature vision. And if this is really his artistic vision, then he should be creating the bra and eyeballs himself, not just buying them and glueing them together.

Just finished her Thursday. I'm trying to get in the studio more. I had the opening for the Fused2 show which went well. There were to guys interested in my work, so that was nice. Good to get back in the groove...sort of. Now I have a show opening the 19th. Thought I'd do only the girls...the ballerina girls. So she's "The New Girl". I have another on the easle, not quite done. I'll post her when she's ready. My hope is that by posting paintings I will be motivated to paint more. Sort of like a year ago when i did "one painting a day" to get my butt in gear. Might have to resort to that tactic again!

Haiti, Avitar and an Italian restaurant

Having just read my daughter-in-laws journal post about the needs in Haiti, my heart is once again aching for the Haitian children, their families and the wonderfully selfless people volunteering in Haiti. Just donating money seems so simple and in a way selfish. It's so easy to just write a check. I admire the volunteers who have physically reached out to those in need. Some day, I hope that I will be that brave, that selfless,that loving. Until then, I pray that the angels of peace and safety will hover over Haiti and hold them all to their hearts.

Millions of peple have seen "Avitar". Tonight I saw it. My hope is that the millions who saw it came away with the same message that I came away with. That is actually so unrealistic. I guess I can only hope for 10% of those who saw it receiving the same message. I came away knowing that we have to pay attention. We have to open our eyes. We are all connected, our world, our universe, our souls, all living things. We cannot continue our prejudice and greed. We will destroy this world if we don't pay attention.We must pay attention. We must care. We cannot turn away. We must make the effort. I hope that this will stay with me and that I will make the effort.

Following the movie, we went to a wonderful restaurant. This is a family owned restaurant in a very Italian neighborhood. What a treat! The food is very nice, plenty of garlic and olive oil, and my first taste of fried romaine (olive oil, garlic, and a bit of lemon) loved it! It was the people who were the real joy though! Everyone seemed to know everyone else, and if they didn't they they seemed to really want to. I felt like I was visiting my friend's relatives...and by the time we left I felt like I might possibly be related! Can't really explain it but I'm looking forward to going back, and bringing my family.

Coming soon to a gallery near you?

So this is my next show

If you're in the area February 10 to March 8, stop by. There are some pretty fabulous artists in this (and I am not referring to myself...however, I'm not quite chopped liver.)

Sometimes sadness is lifted a little when it is shared

Well, at least I hope so. I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need to write about this very sad and tragic event. A dear young man has been taken from us. David is his name. He is the young man in the light blue shirt. He was flying back from a business trip and his plane crashed in the Gulf of Mexico. He was the pilot and had 2 friends with him. There were no emergency transmissions. Smoke was seen coming from his plane, then flames and within seconds it spiralled into the Gulf and burst apart. I pray that it happened so fast that he didn't have enough time for panic or pain, that all of them were spared this. David has three children who will miss him terribly. He also has many, many friends. He was such a well liked young man. He was married to my daughter for a short time. Sadly, it didn't work out. Our family liked him very much. We will miss him terribly.

This didn't work. I am still very, very sad. Tears are blurring the keys.

Lovely coincidence

Just spent a much too brief hour in a local coffe shop reading a tolerable book about Matisse in France, and wishing through it all that I could travel there. When I was topping off my
to-go cup at the coffee pots, two young girls shared the space with me filling their cups and speaking French.

They're BACK!

So no pictures, but there are more deer tracks in my front yard.
I'm just wondering why the deer aren't being "harvested" for food for the poor and homeless in the Chicago area. There is such a huge deer population in this metropolitan area, it seems to me that their meat could benefit the people who have little or no meat. The Forestry department could handle the "harvest" of the deer, (and the geese for god's sake too!) and then the meat could be frozen and sent to the food pantrys to be served in the missions and soup kitchens. Who do we need to suggest this to? It just seems like such a no-brainer!!!

Oh deer!

Guess who was in my front yard...

...at least two of them!








Pretty amazing for where I live. Guess they are just getting so over-crowded in the forest preserves that they need to "move to the city".